Tell jerk hubbie to quit mocking fear of flying

SAVE YOUR LIFE NOW! GRAB YOUR HOW TO QUIT SMOKING IN A WEEK FLAT BOOK NOW! Dear Robin

I have an issue with my husband, and he actually dared me to write you after I threatened him with it. I am absolutely terrified of flying, and he likes to make fun of me over it. It has gotten so bad that I have to take medication before I fly in order to stay calm. I am petrified the plane will either get hijacked or crash. It is paralyzing to me, but he just laughs. He even does stupid things while on the plane like shake the seat, and point out people who look "suspicious." He thinks it's funny, meanwhile I am in tears. We are going on vacation next month, with a very long flight involved. He is already making jokes and telling people about my fears. What can I do?

Freaked-out flier

Dear Freaked-out

Tell your husband to stop being a jerk. I hate flying and can completely relate to how you feel. It is a very real fear that can get to the point of debilitating. The fact that he is making fun of this doesn't give him very high marks in my book. He is supposed to be your support system, but instead insists on joking about it?

OK, maybe he is just trying to make you look at the light side of things, or take your mind off of it by getting you mad, but if that is the case, he is going about things all wrong. If it is so bad that you have to take medication to get through it, he has no business making fun of you at all. It is up to you to decide if he is doing this for the reasons above, or if he is simply an insensitive boor. Let him know how upset this makes you, and tell him this behaviour needs to change.

You should try to figure out when and why these fears began. Talk to someone, no, scratch that ... send your husband to talk to someone and maybe they can teach him something called empathy. You, in the meantime, could try hypnosis, or even meditation to help change your mindset and help you stay calm. Do what you need to do to get through the flight, then put up your feet and enjoy your vacation.

Dear Robin

I was given a gift for helping out a friend of the family who was ill. It may sound nasty, but the gift was of a religious nature, and not my particular faith. I feel insulted and don't know what to do about it. They are not close friends, but do know what faith I follow. Should I say something?

Gifts of Faith

Dear Gifts of Faith

Absolutely not. Unless you truly think these people are blatantly and rudely pushing their beliefs in your face, accept the gift graciously with a thank you. You were given a gift as their way of showing appreciation for what you did. Unfortunately, sometimes people who don't know someone well give gifts they think the recipient would, but often it is to their own tastes.

Be grateful that they were thinking of you during a time when their loved one was ill. If it is that distasteful to you, put it away somewhere.

People tend to get insulted over every little thing these days. Maybe everyone should just step back and see the positives behind the action, rather than automatically going on the defensive.

Robin Anderson

Robin Anderson is the winner of Sun Media's national advice competition.

Send questions to advice@sunmedia.ca and read her online at canoe.ca/advice.

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